What could be better than a chainsaw solo? A special treat in this week's rotation.

Here's hoping Paul the Corporate Beatle doesn't try to re-interpret the Smart Beatle's work now that he's gone.

The Blog of my dreams.

This is an added note to a FYI that Grant sent out about Macy's increasing their online sales. In August Monkey and me saw Phil Suh speak at a conference. He was one of the main people behind organizing the Macy's site for relaunch. Here's one of the slides in his talk:

Notice how all 3 are equals. Each one is dependant on the other. To me this is one of the reasons why Macy's works - it was built with these 3 as equals which makes for a well executed site.
 
However, here's a formula that doesn't work:

And here's a formula that works even less:

According to the accountant, there's now about a $3500 difference in the amount of money the Feds want me to pay and what she's calculated as what I should be paying. I like her numbers much better. Hope the bloodsuckers will be satisfied with her assessment.

It's the First Annual Anubis Flapjack Jamboree©...Deciding if I really need to make a 6 foot Anubis in paper-mache - maple syrup and paper mix well plus he'd have good wrist action for flipping. Maybe it should be smaller and with an Easy-bake oven.

My weapon of choice in the battle against feline poop and puke. A little more expensive than most cleaners but well worth the cost. Not called Veterinary Strength for nothing - called on frequently this morning.

It's funny because it's true.

Damn this snow isn't going away. Got to decide which gym I'll be using for the next couple months.

See where Moose was abiding.

About friggin' time! Looks nice too. You know where I'll be pilfering code from now.

Going through some of the stats for Craptastic this morning. I'm really not sure what to make of the fact that there's a porn site linking here now. I'm sure their clientele will be greatly disappointed once arriving though.

Seals & Croft
England Dan & John Ford Coley
Peaches & Herb
Ashford & Simpson
Batdorf & Rodney
Loggins & Messina
Brewer & Shipley

Found a happy message from the blood suckers at Revenue Canada saying they want more money out of me. Excellent. Couldn't come at a better time. Everybody get ready for even shittier Christmas presents.

Got a left hook to the nose from Pushkin this morning.

Kaga choked on a yellow peppery TCP/IP.
 
In the Ethernet food battle, Fuzzy's cuisine reigned supreme - promptly showing Kaga the door. Stripped the system again and rebuilt it all the way back from 8.1 up to 9.1. for some reason it made the difference in making the ethernet work and the machines are routered together. Fuzzy now operates the CraptasticCam.

Had many names from Dexter Riley movies in mind but instead of A.J. Arno I opted for another Cesare Romaro reference. All that's left is to clean up the Cesare icon and then on to the router.

Most of the day spent trying to rebuild the main machine. Something in me loves doing it. Something in me always forgets to back up one or two essential files and it comes back to haunt me. Also the matter of sending off important e-mails then getting paranoid if anything left my e-mail client to reach anyone.
 
Incredibly windy bike ride heading west but so relaxing heading east.

Important facts studied this morning:
Cookie was played by Richard Bakalyan, In the first movie he was called Chili Walsh not Cookie, Schuyler's first name was Richard.

And Brontë left nuggets by the bathroom door.

So far this morning Pushkin has puked 6 times.

There's definitely something in the air that's made people in this town act like total jackasses on the road for the last 2 days.

Terrible night of sleep. 2 separate incidences of what a Newfie would call Being Hagged. I've had sleep paralysis a couple times before but not twice in one night - really terrifying when it happens once, twice is another matter. Cold sweat; unable to move or breathe or speak; utter paranoia; feeling like something is in the room and trying to kill you; hoping the fat cat lying by your head will somehow save you instead of drooling on the pillow.
 
Then followed by a work related dream of having to fly to Spokane to hand over papers to the Seattle work group. Only I had forgotten I was supposed to go, missed the flight, and struggled to re-book my ticket.

I love motorpacing. Makes boring sections of the city go faster by bike.
 
The exhaust covered lycra afterwards isn't as lovable.

The old Buttercup will become the new Chairman Kaga and mp3/Crapcam household server.
 
Trout have underwater weapons. Keep away from the trout.

The most appropriate going away lunch courtesy of Jon. I just wanted to slink away into the shadows. No muss. no fuss.

Get ready for some of the cheapest christmas presents ever. I'm finally unemployed again. The burning question of what am I going to do? Let's see... vaccuum car, clean bathroom, make cookies, and most important go for bike ride.

Got spiffed up for dinner at Il Pescatore. None of these were featured on the menu.

2 MORE DAYS!

Got a letter from Revenue Canada today stating that they've looked over all my documents and they're re-assessing my income tax. Whether this is good or bad is beyond me - the legalese of the wording make it unclear whether they want to tax me more or less. O joy.

Seems like whenever I get an email about a project from head office, I'm always left dumbfounded on how this company continues to stay alive. Oh well. 3 more days. 3 more days. 3 more days.

4 more days. 4 more days. 4 more days. 4 more days. 4 more days. 4 more days. 4 more days. 4 more days. 4 more days.

Managed to scrape the tendons behind both my knees shaving my legs this morning. Hate when that happens.

Stopped on the ride to feed Pedro the donkey some carrots.

Dog is finally finished.

And the nuns were handing out light weight polypropylene blankets.

More dreams about the afterlife last night. Looked suspicously like an 80's basement cafe where nuns ran an alcoholics anonymous meeting.

Who's the happiest backwards skater in the whole wide world?
Blue Blur

Wastee little weasel
Wants cheap tricks
Liberty bell cracked in half
A bacon steak
A perfect match
Freedom of '76
 
My girl Sasha
Lookin' good on the street
"Mannequin" was filmed at Woolworth's
Boyz II Men still keepin' up the beat, yeah
Freedom of '76

As a spoof, I was working on a porn version of the gettyimages site. But with the lame-assed "I want I need" campaign it became too easy a target and I lost interest. Also this is actually a better and potentially more profitable use of gettyimages so why help them out.
 
For those interested - all soft porn images used in this mock up are available from EyeWire.

Tried to make some muffins tonight. When I turned on the oven, the element started to throw sparks. That's a good sign isn't it?

Look over your left shoulder - cough. look over your right shoulder - cough.
 
Looking at my hemocrit levels I come naturally close to testing positive for EPO.

Arrive in the office to recieve the 14 odd emails from Seattle about what they want me to do in the next week while my counterpart there takes a vacation and 9 days before I'm layed off. Don't get me wrong on paper this isn't difficult work; it's the sheer number of files sent, the fact that I have no clue what's actually been done, no access to any of their servers, and completely no idea of any of the process they use. Oh and they might also have a hire in place there for me to train on all my normal work too. Thanks for the going away present guys. 50 Foot Queenie, I have a new song for you today.

Need a dog collar and a plus sign now.

3 days in a row of biking in November.

Shower head unit completely busted this morning while I was cleaning the bathroom. Yet another Saturday morning emergency run to Totem Lumber needed to deal with a problem.

Trying out iBlog. Works kind of like the blog bookmarklet.

A nice quiet birthday. Staying out of the office was the best idea. 2 and a half hour bike ride felt great. Got to listen to the guy in the basement suite tell me about how he can hear all my movements and the cats running around. Yeah and I can hear you grunting in the bathroom every bloody morning.
 
A pledge I made myself is if I find a good paying job and don't end up going to the food bank everyday with the Thermos Darren gave me, then I'm going to find a new place to live. A place where my bathroom sink doesn't back flow. A place where I can do the repairs or hire a skilled craftsman instead of wait for a landlord. A place where I can crank the stereo and jump around at 4 am when the insomnia kicks in. A place with no one living above, below, or beside me. Most important, counter space so I can get one of these. That's probably too much to ask.

Today's birthdays:
k.d. lang, Stefanie Powers, Pat Buchanan, Ray Walston, Burt Lancaster, Paul Ford, Warren G. Harding, James K. Polk, Marie Antoinette, Daniel Boone, and some other fucker.

Few profanities have quite the zest and zing that "cocksucker" holds. It can be slung out so smoothly like "cocksucking bastard". It's Holly Hunter's favourite swear word.

This is a special dedication going out to my favorite person in all of Seattle head office. It's a 5 MB download (sorry for hogging so much space on the server Grant tomorrow will be leaner)

All evil doers I'm on to you.

This is a little game Pushkin likes to play:

Hey, look at that thing «insert item like piece of carpet he's clawed off cat condo». It looks interesting maybe I'll eat it. Hey, now I'm going to puke.
 
Soon after puking:
Hey, look at that thing «insert item identical to what he's just thrown up». It looks interesting maybe I'll eat it. Hey, now I'm going to puke again.

He can play this game for a very long time because he never quite learns. I remember Chef's story of the christmas tree...

Did you know that it's Larry Flint's birthday today? Oh and it's also Susan's and Emma's.