Spent much of the week digging through the record collection...There are some album titles in the world that always crack me up no matter how many times I see it.

Decided to do something productive and finish a screensaver I built over a year ago and forgot about until now. Maybe someday I'll make the OS X versions of the Craptastic icons and finish the font I was going make.

If only I had an old car to use these on.

Other Chilton references

There's nothing like the sound of a cat puking to get you up and out of bed.

Oh the passion, the rapture, the enchantment...it must be:

PASSION's RAPTUROUS ENCHANTMENT
"...He could sit here alone in his chateau and drink himself senseless or he could be a real man and go after the woman he loved, he thought to himself, rising to his feet. A new determination was wrought on the darkly handsome features of Antonio Carbello!"

I'm fake,
I'm a Shamrock Shake,
I go out,
Like a birthday cake.

The quiet neighbour next door bought a place and is moving in June. Why can't I be buying a place and moving? Oh yeah, I don't have a real job.

Mmmm. A morning of icey snow, preventing one cat from shitting on the fun-fur chair, and cleaning up the shotgun-like vomit spray of the other. What magic could the afternoon hold?

RobbiePants!™

Introducing a new line of hipster jeans modelled on 70s rock stars - RobbiePants™. These super tight hip hugging pants come with your choice of wear marks on either the right or left side of the crotch to go with whatever side you prefer to "dress". We'll be introducing our RobbiePants™ Ultra-Hipster style later this year that feature a hidden crotch pocket that you can stuff with a sock or fresh vegetable for that "full-grown" look.

Tired of EPO thickening your blood? Scared you might test positive for NESP? Well your prayers have been answered with the new drug of choice of endurance athletes everywhere. Dick Pound are you paying attention?

It's been a morning of big foamy cat puke. A veritable puke-athon

Various items spotted in ditch while riding bike

• door hinge (brass)
• 2 bottles Smirnoff Vodka (empty)
• mat for dish rack
• beer cans (too numerous to count)
• decomposing coyote carcass
• furnace filter screen
• 5 anti-freeze jugs
• 1 bottle Captain Morgan rum (empty)

Spring. It's not just for lovers anymore.

There's an extemely sensitive security system at the Potato Museum to prevent cat burglars from making off with the priceless spuds.

Don't know if you're in Sweden or Scotland but Happy Birthday Joanne!

Dog 2 Phase 6 - Avec Temporary Jaunty Hat

Dog is 90% finished. Just a few things left and a better fez needing to be made.

Feel like I was bit by a Tse Tse fly

Everytime I watched this show as kid in the 70s I had this plan that someday I'd be guesting on it with Bruno Gerussi. The sole purpose was so I could boil hotdogs and extoll the subtle nuances of hotdog cuisine instead of the grander recipes usually offered up by Bruno's guests (insert generic Canadian "star" here). Mainly so Bruno would look like a fool for inviting someone to come on the show and boil wieners.
 
"Now you boil them until the ends puff out...that's when they're at the precise temperature".

Zinc! Come back, Zinc!

Mary-Kate and Ashley Apocalypse Style Giftset

Each set comes with Number of the Beast temporary tattoos plus the Whore of Babylon prom dress.

I bet if I didn't drink so much coffee before a ride I wouldn't have to stop and pee so much during it.

Since Spiderman is making the Mano Cornuto sign while he's swinging around, does it mean he's protecting people's fertility or is he saying hey you're all being cuckholded?

Hansel:
"Favorite Song: The wind and the rain. Or anything by Dokken."
"Listen to your friend Billy Zane, he's a cool dude. He's trying to help you out."

Managed to grab Brontë from under the bed quilt and throw her into the litterbox before a little "incident" could happen. Oh the joy.

Where is my Mind?

You're smart, shy, and often nonsensical. You have dreams of being famous, and you're quirky enough that you just might pull them off. Some would call you a genius, others would call you insane, but in reality you're pretty well-adjusted. Take a vacation once in a while- it'll help take your mind off of your troubles.

Which Pixies song are you?

Contrary to popular belief - Tracy Pew did not die from an epileptic seizure in 1986. In reality he dropped the Midnight Cowboy look, changed his name, and moved to Sweden.

Yesterday's meal suppliment went something like this: 2 cups of coffee, 1 large Dr. Pepper Slurpee, 1 super big bag of Twizzlers, 6 Dad's Chocolate Chip Cookies, and couple bowls of cereal. So today I thought I'd eat more responsibly - which ended up being pretty much the same as above with a trip to Pizza Hut thrown in. If I ever find a real job again I'm thinking of investing in a trained lemur or raccoon that would fetch me sushi or pasta.

Did you know that Buttercup aka Dottie aka Loryn aka Elizabeth Daily was dating Jon-Erik Hexum at the time of his death.

Visit your local library for information on the historical period featured in this episode.

Blue blue electric blue

Wonder if there's any job postings for abstract reflectors needed to invent a clergy.

New bike clothes new bike clothes with migrating tan lines.

I'm not naysaying a scooter store. I'm naysaying the fiscal potential of one in a city devoted to SUVs and has more snow in May than December.

Today Genevieve made a room look like a package of Wonder Bread. Something that would make for more entertaining TV would be an episode of Trading Spaces where Frank redesigns a porn shop using his trademark country corny crap design. Think about the possibilities with his usual giant chicken and mermaid cutouts. Ratings through the roof I tell you.

It's like thunder...lightning

You better knock knock Knock On Wood.

Dog 2 Phase 5 - Epidermis

4 coats of gesso. Sanded. Ready to stink up the place with lacquer.
 
For the 2 people in the world who might be curious about how to make real gesso here's the full scale version. Acrylic gesso is crap don't even think about buying it. And remember, don't boil the rabbit or the whole batch is worthless.

Having one of those days where I feel like I might as well give up the search and go work at a 7-11. I hear they're hiring, I have a good understanding of Slurpee machines, I can say hello to people coming through doors, and I think I'd look good in a smock.

Bloody hell. Took till 5:30 today till I could finally get connected to the internet again.

Yee-Haw! Someone, anyone, want to buy me the Al Green Doppleganger?...I'll be your friend...for a couple days at least.

Wonder if this was the inspiration for Dude Where's My Car