Dear Officer piggly
I'm very sorry for jumping a deadend barrier to get out of a residential street and on to an empty road. I guess this early in the morning when there's no drug busts, bank heists, or fresh donuts that a cyclist going through an empty intersection is the equivilent to eating babies thereby making me the only available outlet for you to show the world that you're master of the universe. By the way, I also made an illegal right hand turn and jumped a curb in the previous residential area. My only regret is you didn't try to get my name, Huffy McScratch. But I guess that probably would have just aggrevated you.

PS I'm also guilty of perjury because I did realise that technically my curb hopping was illegal even though I denied it. But the reality is I'd say anything to get you to shut up so I could get to that public washroom 2 blocks away. It's hard to do hill repeats up Stony Trail with a full bladder. But don't worry I'm expecting a letter from your photo radar unit for my driving yesterday so it all evens out.

Thinking of possible uses for some of this product I just waded through...
 
How about an NSync video

Perhaps a Love American Style episode set on the Price Is Right

Or Nsync kung-fu fighting Mr. Peanut

Buy laptop, sell everything else, move to Tonga?

• Buy new laptop?
• Trip to Sweden?
• Buy laptop and go to Sweden?
• Buy laptop and 15GB iPod don't go to Sweden?
• Buy nothing?
• Buy laptop go on smaller roadtrip?
• Buy laptop and iPod, go on smaller roadtrip?
• When will they fire me?
• Sell everything, give away cats, move to Tonga?

This coffee tastes exactly like my mood this morning. Bitter.

Nothing better than hot Sock monkey porn

I have no daytime mynci anymore.

Having one of those days where drop kicking the laptop sounds like the best solutions. This afternoon I will investigate pricing on faster machine so 10 minute jobs don't take 30.

It's getting to that time of year when it's dark in the morning so it's hard to see the cat puke to avoid stepping in it.

Pork. It's the other white meat.

Fresh images from Mr. Cressman's recent vacation.

Caught a bit of this latest rendition of Battle of the Network Stars but I didn't see any stars. Do the winners of this rendition win a dinner at the Olive Garden with a star? Where was Robert Conrad freaking out? Were Scott Biao's records in the obstacle course going to be broken? And where the fuck were the stars?

Or could it be that these car woes are part of the Evil Sock Monkey's Conspiracy

It's the joy of VW ownership. Just get the air conditioning fixed and the driver side window mechanism breaks. Then they install a faulty replacement one. Now I have to go back again. Luckily this is all under warrantee. Good thing I didn't leave the parking lot till I check the window.

Thank you cat for the "there's something come out of my ass!" run through the house and waking me up at 12:30. Thank you Camaro for your car alarm at 3am that nobody bothered to shut off for 20 minutes.

Come play along. I make getting Chinese characters from a PC Word doc to Mac FlashMX fun.

1. discover word doc on Mac doesn't display
2. fart around on Mac setting things up properly and discover it still doesn't work
3. get lots of KMODE_EXCEPTION_NOT_HANDLED error crashes on the PC (because everybody knows that PCs are so easy to use and repair and will immediately know what to do when this happens)
4. 4 hours later open Word doc on PC
5. print - save as postscript file
6. over to the Mac
7. make PDF from ps file
8. open PDF
9. select text in PDF
10. change default language in OSX to GB(insert unknown symbols here) and switch text behaviours from Roman to GB(insert unknown symbols here) too
11. open Illustrator
12. paste text from PDF
13. change font to the font that seems to display the characters goodly
14. back to PC
15. get TrueType font used in original Word Doc
16. quit Illustrator load font into OSX
17. open Illustrator again change the one symbol that didn't convert properly the first time
18. convert type to outlines
19. export as SWF
20. open FlashMX
21. import SWF into document

Should be easier. Could be easier. But it wasn't. You might want this as a reference source on Chinese-Mac

Wouldn't it be nice if the Beach Boys never existed
Then I'd never have to hear their Endless Bummer
Oh wouldn't it be nice.

Women in Spacesuits in TV and Film 1950-2000

Lucky there was a shelf to grab onto. All the blood was sitting in my feet when I stood up.

Things I learned about trying to get PowerPoint Viewer onto an autostarting CD this week. Things like you need more files than people tell you plus a few more. Things like opening the presentation with it in the autostart will ruin your links in the presentation. Things like if you navigate to the same CD and open the presentation manually into Viewer the links do work. Things like don't bother. Have I mentioned how much I 'love' Microsoft products?

I thought I had the flavour of rich creamery butter or maybe even Twizzler synthetic strawberry. Apparently not.

Screen grab forwarded from a James via Ian.

Tonight I learned that sometimes you don't want stitches to pull a wound toite like a toiger in case it gets infected.

Axiom
working into the wee hours and just a cut and paste of one line of text left before packing in exactly corresponds to when your system will crash.

New shoes new shoes new shoes yay new shoes.

Blood vomitting zombie and the co-hosts of the view. It's an interview I'd love to see happen.

Top Ten Urinals

Has a nice ring to it...