Soft new flipflops for walking on the hardwood was my original idea but after the escapades downstairs on thursday night, Geta Sandals would be much better. Preferably extrmely high ones so i can fall over lots to make even more noise.

Amazing Puke Acrobat
After laying down his first volley of puke, Pushkin was about to let loose his second. Trying to be clever, he attempted to pre-jump the spot the vomit was heading. But he jumped too soon and ended up puking on his front paws in midflight. So graceful a cat is he.

my tongue is sore

Thanks to the party kids downstairs fighting with each other, telling each other to "get the fuck out of my house", run up and down stairs, and slam doors, I was able to stay up till 4am and find out more exciting information on the Rock Paper Scissors International World Championships after catching this year's winner on Conan. Glad I'm so not committed to staying in this place for long.

The new year skating round up
Blue Blur still kicking those good tires. This year he has a new hat - it's blue. His apprentice is also in fine form. iPod is much easier to skate with but doesn't make doing laps any more tolerable.

Look what I got today. It's the Pecking Chicken! It also comes with a warning

The skin of all my fingers split
Painfully receding
My hands were dry and itched and hurt
And also they were bleeding

and now...change chairs

Days so slow....

hey hey hey hey hey
how much sugar can i ingest in an hour. must nearly a bag now.

My new TV series idea to compete with all those other decorating makeover shows:
Two teams, a budget of $1000, two fru fru designers, one carpenter, one shovel, and two delapitated public restrooms. The object - to redocorate the old outhouses into a fashionable, sanitary, rest stop in 48 hours. This will involve hand cleaning the existing space for great on camera hijinx. The name for the show has to be something that initially sounds clever then becomes less entertaining each time. Something like "Gone Flushing".

docket number number docket rocket lumber mumbler socket cocket fumbler

Things found while unpacking. Ski-Doo chapeau.

Maybe i should buy a new amp for the Telecaster, point it at the floor, and play AC/DC riffs till 4am.

Can I interest anyone in a chair? Selling features are that besides being clawed sufficiently, the cats have also shit and/or puked on it at least 50 to 60 times. Any takers?

Hanoi Rocks is still touring?

Wonder if anything is open in kensington at 3 in the morning. Too cold outside to find out anyway.

When you think of all the bad jobs in the world to have, Parking Meter Attendent must be one of the worst. Nobody likes you. People would gladly run over you.....HEY! OLD BASTARD WITH THE TICKET BOOK! GET AWAY FROM MY CAR!

New drivers license arrived. There's a picture of a zombie on it

"Kids, you tried your best, and failed miserably... The lesson is, never try"
Homer Simpson

Me in something sartorial would definitely be a sign of the apocalypse to folks in the office.

El presidente visits the office tomorrow as part of the grand tour of the holdings. The mental debate is now either to completely shock people by dressing over the top appropriately. Or dress even shabbier than I usually do so I can shuffled off to the construction site instead.

4 days of no puke no stray poop from cats erupts in a cascade of vomit from Pushkin first thing this morning, covering the floor of the hallway from wall to wall. This must have been brought on by guilt from last night.

What does your building manager look like? Mine looks like this.

We can be there sometime between 8am next friday or 12pm monday but only if there's a new moon and 35% cloud coverage. Damn cable doofuses always with that vague time of arrival. So while I wait, I plot how to get a line from the livingroom to the bedroom.

I figure I drill a hole somewhere around here.

Come in through the kitchen counter about here

Then under the sink

Out the other kitchen wall

And into bedroom over in the corner. Then I can set up the small TV again and be lulled to sleep by the cartoon network.

Back live again. Thank goodness, I was starting to get the shakes.

Holy shit! The shower in the new apartment is really a jet ski engine.

Body..so...sore

Hey look what I found! And they're still good till march 2004! On second thought, might as well throw them out. It'll be years past then that I'd need them.

The downside of living in one place for too long is all the shit you collect

If I wasn't packing I'd try to get Pine running on Panther for old time sake.

Holy shit! 3 days without cable and internet? What the fuck do you expect me to do? Read a book or something? This blows.

If you get up at 3 and go to the weight room at 6 you can almost fall asleep on the matts while stretching or fall over when you stand up.

Whoohoo new drivers license photo coming with supah-like hair.

Proof that this world might actually be hell. First 2 songs you hear in the morning are:

• Uptown Girl by Billy Joel
• Bring Me Some Water by Melissa Etheridge

Lord why have you forsaken me?

Bored bored bored. fucking bored. bloated bloated bloated. too much pizza. sometimes hot sometimes cold sometimes too much clothes.

Why does all office coffee taste like crap. Trying to think of a description foul enough to describe this last cup - like maybe abscess or yeast infection

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