Ookla Ookla almost done

If I start sewing patches to my suit jackets do they still qualify as professional business attire? What if I stick strictly to sewing patches with oil related products since we deal with a lot of oil companies.

Wearing grown up clothing again. Watch me squirm all day.

I'm addicted to sugar, use my powers for evil not good, and would rather be watching television. Oops I mean I enjoy working with clients and developing connections between groups and projects, not to mention reaching those goals I set for myself. Has anyone ever done a study about the going around the room feedback segment during meetings and how the answers returned are probably more like the answers given at job interviews. As in I'll tell you what you want to hear but not necessarily the exact thing that's on my mind. Just curious.

To all the cool people wearing the name of a cranky bastard, two words - Von Suck

It's great that when those bears get projectile diarrhea in the woods, they've got all those rolls of Charmin.

Cycling is a drug riddled sport but Dick Pound you are such a tool. If you think getting the UCI, or any other sport for that matter, to sign up for your fucking WADA club is going to make any difference dream on. Cycling has always been one of the most tested sports for drugs and cyclists have always found ways around the drug tests. I really trust you to clean up sports especially seeing how you had your tongue so far up Juan Antonio Samaranch's ass he didn't need any fiber in his diet during the most corrupt period of the Olympics. For someone who wanted Samaranch's job so bad, this sounds more like a huge bid for control in sporting events.

In other news...steroid user Barry Bonds is still "breaking" records.

Go from driving around with the sun roof open, warm salt water air, shorts, and sun to having to turn on the car heater and torrential rain. Not to mention cat poo on the couch and a kitchen light fixure filled with some wierd brown liquid that's dripped from the apartment above. Oh it's so great to be back home. Today's objective, buy lots of lotto tickets.

softness in his eyes
iron in his thighs
virtue in his heart
fire in every part
of the mighty Hercules!

What are you going to do now Herc? What are you going to do now?

What could be the biggest score of the trip. An Ookla the Mock action figure.

You might not want to go for a dip here.

Cat sitters have already reported large volumes of puke. Life goes on without me...

It's green! There's water! Skin doesn't feel dry and flakey. Kitchen in hotel suite better than apartment. Highlights so far...Seeing a goofball with a UK Territorial army t-shirt breaking into some crazy kungfu moves at a rest stop. I think it was Gareth. Favorite roadside sign: "Wally's Private Parts"

Bruno Gerussi lives.

Jarome

Jerome

Jerome

Hey suburban mall punks on the C-Train, you seem to have enough money for leather jackets, big stompy Dr Martins, and white glue to spike your hair. How come you don't have enough for a bar of soap to clean that pimply skin?

A semi-anonymous tip that arrived today...
 
Yo Yo Yo. Bad ass rappers show us your street cred! Pose for that stock photo "Business Travelers Waiting in Airport" shot. Yeah now I'm thinking up great ad campaigns this image could pop up in:

• Sitting in airports all day? Hemorrhoid sufferers call 1 800 HEM FREE
• Rap Crisis Line - when Swollen Members have erectile disfunction

Too bad Prevail wasn't in the keywords.

On the one hand, pretty much lowers my original low estimation of Swollen Members. On the other, unfortunately shows that aspiring Canadian music stars generally don't get their J.Lo, Sean Jean, or even Hillary Duff line of clothing to suppliment their income.

It's Dig Dig the head louse. He's a Parasite Pal.

What Would Jesus Drive? I'm thinking a 64 Chev Impala set up to hop at street lights. With a Bacon Air Freshener too.

While I do like the shuffle, on the weekend I decided that's not really what's changing my listening habits. It's the huge number of songs on the iPod combined with the remote. Now I'm starting to listen to music the way I watch TV; Flicking constantly from track to track like flipping through TV channels. Lingering for a few seconds only to keep flipping hoping the next channel has something that will pacify the ADD symptoms. So most activities with me and the iPod end up going like this, "Nope, nope, ooo maybe, yaaa-nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, ooo I like that but not now, nope, nope, nope...well maybe a few more seconds, nope".

Wish Grumpy Princess would blog more.

Wonder if they go through Iraq this time

Every season of Survivor they have the paint your face and reminence about the people you screwed over to get here part. And every year the Survivors miss the chance to do the total Ace Frehley paint job.

Beasts seen on this morning's bike ride:

• llamas
• very tired donkeys
• minature horses
• Fabio impersonator complete with muscle shirt

There's something disturbing about late 30ish people with really bad braces. Particularly in business meetings. Don't ask me any questions, I'm completely distracted by your teeth.

I tried to get the "professional attire is required" clause taken out of my contract thingy. That seemed to create more problems for people. But by the term professional, I'm wondering if I can come attired as a professional bike courier.

Maybe thinking about this sort of thing only shows how much I need a life...but if you owned a company that had a large hat as a logo, why would you make a talking ovenmitt your mascot? Especially an ovenmitt that's shaped like your logo. Wouldn't a talking hat make more sense? Wouldn't a tie in with Lidsville make more sense?