Feel the need to get all fancied up and mug marathon runners? Better do some reading up so you can argue your motives while locked in the loony bin. So read and enjoy the complete works of Cornelius Horan. Nobody schools better than defrocked priests.

you know what's really fun. trying to get some juice off the shelf at the grocery store and having a back spasm. coool.

News Flash...He's alive and cutting wood in Orillia.

I covet the Bruno Geruzzi Cook Book. If I owned a company I'd offer copies of it instead of stock options.

And clowns are scary.

9 times out of 10 Canadian World champions going into the Olympics will crap out no matter what sport they compete in. So this is a law that Canadian athletes should adopt: If you have any talent, avoid winning the World Championships for your sport in the year leading into the Olympics. Win the World's the year after.

And an extra law for CBC not to constantly dwell on talented Canadian athletes as sure fire medal winners leading up to their events. Every althete you do this to also seems to go down in flames and makes it even more painful to watch.

It makes me happy to see someone else mocking Brian Williams.

Equimount The ultimate gift for horse lovers

At home with the Ritchies Madonna's new reality TV show.

Fresh? Really? Is that fresh as in 5 minutes ago or 5 days? Somedays I don't feel fresh. I don't know who keeps putting this note on the office coffee thingy but it's a really useless note. Especially when the coffee that comes out is as fresh as a Foghat concert.

This summer has been one big blur of work. It's freakin' august and I've done nothing. Today is devoted to redrawing maps of BC for a client animation and remembering great names like Beaverdell, Spuzzum, and Rutland.

I'm torn on the Amazing Race elimination. Mirna was crazy but good TV for pure insane factor. Phil looked like he was about to cry over loosing Charla from the race - he probably has some sort of weird midget fetish.

Had a dream that about mocking a bunch of idiot celebrities for wearing red strings. But now that I'm awake I realise I've got it all wrong. So I'm going to Office Depot at lunch to get a red felt pen and some shoe laces and $26 US per string will be mine.

Judging from the commercials, maybe we should have sent the little blue cow to compete in all the events instead.

You can hear Pushkin puke when you're standing outside my apartment. Guess that means the neighbours can probably hear him howling at 4 in the morning.

Still waiting for Brian "Ted Baxter" Williams get fixated on an issue to flog for 2 weeks of Olympic coverage. An interesting trend so far in beach volleyball is the combination cameramen fixing on the womens' ass while they pass signals, then quickly followed by "HARD AND DEEP" screamed out by the play by play anouncer.

You can find interesting things unpacking boxes.

I don't want to hear your life story or what your therapist tells you just give me my damn latte.

Nothing like some useless anality from some people to make an insignicant issue a completely over the top problem.

I'm seeing a very special movie for Octodog coming soon to an adult channel near you. It might be a painful ending for one performer though.

I've now got a cat addicted to licking the sides of cold Slurpee cups like it was crack.

Hey instead of doing that office stuff i should do how about i hang the rug on the balcony and get all the dirt out of it. I'll probably regret this on Monday.

Most people will remember him for Super Freak, but I'll always remember Rick James for that rousing performance in Eddie Murphy's Party All the Time video. Party all the time Eddie. Party. All. The. Time.

Probably the most constructive thing I did all day was hang all the pictures in the new lunch room. I even built a secret code into the measurements that know one will know...You know what they say,"Idle hands spend time at the genitals, and you know how much God hates that"

My office escape route. Through the ceiling tiles and into the ducts.