$230,000 for an apartment condo that has no balcony plus faces north with the main living room window directly facing the cement retaining wall 3 feet away. That sounds great but I think I'll keep looking incase I find something cheaper and has a little bit of natural light.

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Tonight I managed to make it through the new humongous Ikea unscathed. But even with all the increased store space and places to wander, they still have the lolligager ray hitting people as they enter to keep every aisle clogged.

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When making slide shows, you might need a new name. For clarification I never claimed to have my mind anywhere else.

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Oh my god woman your camel toes are on exhibition in every zoo on the planet. Please check yourself before going to the food court at future lunch hours.

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Each winter's return to the gym always guarantees a couple things. Like the same old regulars, the same classic rock station with the same playlist from 1991, and of course the new creepy late 40s-early 50s guy who tries to hit on the blond with breast implants. "Hi honey what are you training for?" so smooooth, it would be even better if he could say like he's from the hood,"Wha da dily yo? Honey what iz ya training fo' w0rd!"

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How many web designs can I mash out/recycle in one day?

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Little do they realize that my incredible style of photography is modelled after the Ed Woods film technique. Point camera. Leave camera on whatever last settings were. Make camera go click. Don't bracket image. One take. Print it.

But thanks for all the compliments anyway enjoy the fish heeheee.

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can this day get any stranger. Oh wait it can.

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Hi I'm calling about my website
You don't really have a website, you just have a holder page for your domain that's been there for a year because you never gave us the go ahead to switch from the holder page to the test site
Can you send me the access codes? I want this other fellow to make some edits to some pages
ummm there's no access codes because we never bothered to set up FTP since you never got back us about what you wanted to do. Guess you've been showing people the test site on our dev server for a year. In fact this is sounding very much like last summer when you called asking where your stationary was.

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Going through site stats. Funny where links to this site appear. Guess all my surfing plans for Tonga have paid off somehow. Not to mention all my cleaning skills.

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Sometimes you need the help of Dead or Alive? to settle bets that Paul Young is dead but Paul Young is alive. Although when it comes right down to it, would the music of either really be missed?

Unfortunately, Bob Geldoff is still alive and still cheapening the original Bandaid by pushing a third version. Well, guess it can't be worse than the second version which had the stellar line-up of:

• Bananarama
• Big Fun
• Bros
• Cathy Dennis
• D Mob
• Jason Donovan
• Kevin Godley
• Glen Goldsmith
• Kylie Minogue
• The Pasadenas
• Chris Rea
• Cliff Richard
• Jimmy Somerville
• Sonia
• Lisa Stansfield
• Techtron

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Don't make direct eye contact...back away slowly...no sudden movements.

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A soap opera in Germany changed its name after broadcasters realised the initial letters spelt out ANAL

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I'm Plopped out.

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The cats had a pukefest today. The winner was Brontë hacking up a hairball plus a little extra into the big water dish. Nothing says lovin' like a floating wad of fur.

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Great it's 3am and I've been wondering where could those darn kids be. Oh wait their stereo has started to share some great music with the rest of the building so they thankfully have gotten home safe from the bars. I was beginning to get worried about them. I'll just let them know how happy I am that they're back by knocking ever so lightly because I'd like to share my opinions on how well their rendition of Love Cats was earlier this evening. Talent like that should be shared with the world because if highly original acts like Third Eye Blind, Good Charlotte, or New Found Glory happened to disappear, the music industry would have a hard time filling that void quickly...

And now that I can't sleep anymore, I can enjoy some of that great early hour television, like some of David Duchovny's finest work as an actor in the Red Shoe Diaries. One can only hope that he reprises his role as Jack Winter to bring more 5th rate soft porn to world...English League play I think might rather watch Totham and Arsenal instead while surfing MLS home listings.

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Excellent. Those kids are learning Love Cats on their bass guitar this evening.

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Panic is retiring Audion. Still think it's a better player than iTunes. If Apple would even make it possible to use my Litebrite and Great Mazinga faces I'd be happier

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• 2 large coffees
• Numerous chocolates
• 1 can Coke
• 1 cup Hot Chocolate

Other than a caffeine suppository, wonder how much more caffeine I could get flowing through my system is such a short time.

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Christmas came early by accident. See what happens when you send a package with a crazy grandma. Now what to put into this pitcher.

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You know what's a great idea. Get a bass guitar and crank your amp to max. If you live in an old apartment building with paper thin walls, your neighbours won't mind if their shelves rattle. Fucking kids in their rock and roll music. next time I'm pointing my speakers to the floor and cranking Roger Whittaker.

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Masters of Lebowski

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MarryAnAmerican must be getting a lot of hits these days with all the post US election interest in moving to Canada. Would "looking for totally hot rich american woman" seem too shallow for a profile?

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If I had won the lottery last night, I'd buy a U2 iPod just to have the pleasure of whacking the hell out of the entire U2 catalog with a frickin sledge hammer. Why don't they come out with a Kenny Loggins special edition iPod? Or to make it even more collectible - Loggins/Messina. And while I'm ranting. Dear Bonehead, if you're that concerned with world poverty why don't you donate maybe half of your personal wealth to erasing it? Surely you could still maintain your pompous bonofoonery on the remainder.

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Shit. If I was up on current events, I could easily have planned to sneak into the pictoplasma conference while I was across the water.

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Surprize surprize. Got my first spam text message on my cell phone this morning.
Surprize surprize. The subject was a vitamin remedy to increase the size of my member. Isn't this an added welcome to all the faxes of equipment orders from farmers.

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Looks like americans were stupid enough to re-elect Bush. Hope they're smart enough to impeach him by signing Nader's impeachment petition.

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Today I'm taking time out to ridicule Ben Affleck again with a posting on Surviving Christmas reviews and a link to Truly Bad Films where Ben mockery runs wild. Why you ask? Because Ralph sent me the link. Plus I had the misfortune of seeing Ben flog his latest movie on a Tonight Show rerun the other night and I'm still aggrevated today by the tag-team hackery of Leno and Ben.

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Vatican sanctioned sex guide to offset impotence and frigidity. Or is that Vatican speak for "get more catholic women knocked up please".

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now back to the office and bad coffee.

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More Swedish facts:

• Swedish women seem to like spikey heels and can somehow manage to navigate heavily cobbled streets on them.
• The other side is I saw more than a few people with neck braces.
• I think Swedes really get typography and design in general - if I could, i would have brought milk cartons or other household products back because the packages look so cool
• I was told by another canadian I met there that the Skåne region was considered the Newfoundland of Sweden. I can't attest to any validity in that though

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