Need a New Year's resolution? How about don't get a tattoo. The Bad Tattoo gallery should be required visiting for people before going under the needle.

A week of doing nothing but watching automotive and bike building tv shows like Pimp My Ride and Overhaulin'. The car shows are neat watching them piece together a car in such short time. But it leaves the questions like just how good is that rush paint job up close? Isn't it a little distracting having a tv screen in the front seat of a car? And how soon are these cars stripped and gutted by car thieves once they get back to the hood? The Hostess twinkie on Overhaulin' also has all the charisma and onscreen presence of a turnip.

I got soft on my ban of Safeway. You know having one across the street is handy those times when you need something fast. That was until today when halfway through stirring up some batter a big fat maggot comes wiggling out of the new bag of flour. I suppose that I can't technically attribute this to the store but it goes hand in hand with their crappiness and the store is definitely dirty enough. Oh in case you for some unknown reason need to simulate diarrhea, I suggest mixing bran, molasses, and some buttermilk.

I just want to point out that, like other great actors tackling the role, Hasselhoff performs Mr. Hyde sans make-up. A true tour de force.

As I sit here trying constantly filling Kleenex tissues, I wonder just how much mucus can the human body produce in a day. oh that much

It's still not too late. Or you can just give me cold hard cash.

Subways map archive for help navigating foriegn cities.

I was oogling the action figure at a store last night and thought the only thing better would be the actual oil painting.

Oh. My. God.
Remember when nobody really knew what they were doing when they made videos. I have no clue who these people are, you'll have to ask the source Liisa directly who will be able to explain all the nuances of classic Finnish rock. I don't know what I love more: the super cheesy over emoting keyboard player complete with buckskin coat and bikini clad dancers or the wierd Richard Carpenter clone accompanied by the Juul Haalmeyer Dancers.

Had I been more mentally together I would have come up with this idea sooner. There's always these saints who's dried blood becomes liquified in reliqueries whenever it's convenient for a good dog and pony show. So I was thinking if only I had preserved some of Pushkin's vomit and sealed it in a reliquery. The miracle would be that it would suddenly liquify when a bath tub faucet was turned on or the ice cube tray is taken out of the freezer. Donations would be gathered to witness the miracle puke to help fund medical bills for cats with liver and kidney failure.

If there's a Slurpee machine in cat heaven, I know you're licking the cups.

Today I learned how to give a cat an iv. This may come in handy in the future if I develop a heroin addiction. I'm also trying to figure out how I can list Pushkin as a dependant to get him on my health care coverage. Everyone get ready for some great dollar store christmas presents!

I'm kind of uncertain why you'd want to get dressed up yet again if you had to wear business attire 5 days a week especially when the only people who will see you are the same people you work with everyday. Maybe for woman it might be fun because the style of outfit will be more chic but for men it just seems to become wearing another suit. Anyway, I went in jeans because I didn't really give a shit at that point. I just wanted that cat back from the vet.

Consumer warning
Everyone can expect really cheap presents this christmas. Surplus funds are going towards a weekend spa for Pushkin. Hopefully he'll be home for the holidays. I already miss the puke in the bed, in chairs, on the carpet, in my shoes...

Lately my life has been basically get up, work, come home, work more. So I thought maybe I could learn some valuable life lessons by reading Tina Yother's Being Your Best. It says Guide for Girls but I bet that something for everyone in this little gem that could make everyday a special episode. Maybe even things like how to start your own rock band by getting your brother Alex to manage the group.

Really I'm admiring Shane Glines' drawing technique. Really.