Mr. Smart the Educated Monkey demonstrates his math skills. Not to mention, showing the educational benifits of spanking the monkey.

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Alice Malloy and her amazing theremin bra. Intersting. Not as stimulating as Goldfrapp's unique use of a theremin for personal gratification though. Which always makes me wonder if I listen to Goldfrapp for her music or for other reasons...

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URINAL!
It's usually preceded by a stutter step.

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Another activity for those times when life just doesn't feel fresh is to spend money on things like hard to find albums on the internet. Midheaven Mailorder is looking like a good spot to find stuff since Amoeba Music doesn't do mail order.

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This confuses me on a couple levels. First off, why the hell is Bon Jovi even recording. Second, why is the Kool-aid Man on their cover? Hope Kraft sues their hair-band asses.

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Screw in car tire. October just gets better.

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Rockstar Doppleganger Part V
Gruff Rhys

Pros - I'd love to say my name is Gruff - There's days I think Dacw Hi is possibly the best pop song ever written (Welsh or English) - Get to be in one of the few mid 90s British bands that still seems relevant - Appears to be a bit of a do-nothing but actually devoted to his craft - Pete Fowler album covers - Gruff is cool

Cons - Big foot suit looks like it could cause heat exhaustion - Life is too short to learn Welsh

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Have to wear grown up clothes yet again. Today's question is who came up with the original design concept for dress shoes. I mean Really. Unless you have mutated business suit feet from wearing these things, they're never really comfortable no matter how much you spend (and believe me I spent an obsene amount of money on these fuckers in a momentary lapse of judgement). A thin piece of rock hard leather doesn't compare to the comfort and breathability of a pair of runners. If only I could wear my flip flops.

If you're wondering, I'm in a bit of a pissy mood this morning. Or is that every morning

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URINAL!
It now has a new meaning. But I'm not going to tell you what it is. But use it anyway. Just scream out urinal. It's fun to say. Urinal!

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Some in the office might say "I have a lot of balls in the air right now". I prefer the term "I'm just juggling my balls". Has a much friendlier sound to it.

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New Bed! Ikea seems to be slowly taking over my home like a virus. Then again why spend $2000 on a bed frame at other furniture places when I hardly seem to be in the bedroom these days. And since the only other body that's going to be in it is the cat, there's no need to impress others with bedroom decorating skills. Anybody want an old mattress? Might have old infestations of cat puke and poo but that can't spread the avian flu.

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You know you're getting old when the eye doctor tells you you're eyes are really healthy but then starts giving you a long talk on all the age onset eye problems. One thing missing was after looking at the retina image he didn't mention that the eyes are the doorway to the soul; and judging from my retinas, I have no soul.

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So I had my first experience with acupunture last night as part of a exchange for web work. Thought it wasn't supposed to hurt but holy shit did I feel that first needle going in. Then the whole thing of laying still in a room was a challenge when the ADD starts to set in.

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Thank you Liisa. This kept me very entertained this morning.

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So far October's been kind of crappy on many fronts so times like this call for buying new shoes and interval sprints in heavy traffic.

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Rockstar Doppleganger Part IV
Iggy Pop

Pros - Godfather of Punk - Crazy - Seminal figure in rock - Raw Power in 1973 - Lust for Life - Body will fossilize instead of decompose

Cons - Iggy + peanut butter - "There are things I don't remember . . . I'd wake up with bumps on the head, blood on my shirt and something green coming out of my penis" - Could any other human survive being Iggy other than Iggy?

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Maybe I should call in sick for a week and make a road to Ottawa to drink with Monkey

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Once again it happening. Not that there were any expectations. Chef I would join you for a drink if you were here. I guess at least there's consistency in patterns in my life.

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