I just made a website that's cutting edge 1997 and will be visited a lot because of all the news coverage. Possibly the ugliest web work I've done since 1997.

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Just as I thought, this alter is for a conditional god.

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Sometimes you wake up on Monday and know it's going to be a long aggrevating week.

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Okay I'm not ragging on a free night at a luxery hotel - I'm really not. I'm truly grateful for the accomodation because this was a pretty swanky affair. But I obviously lost the coin toss when the hotel staff were assigning the rooms to all the guests coming in for the holiday party. I got the room with an eye level view of the lobby roof looking directly into the parkade wall. With the added bonus of being right next to the service elevator so the sounds of employees using it went on constantly going through the night. Yeah wasn't a restful sleep. But hey at least I got out of town for the night and managed to survive the party to boot.

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Christmas parties are always the death of me. Okay I lie, social gatherings of more than six people are the death of me. Anyway, started this one off on a great note. You know, forgetting the pants to my suit at home and the jade jewelry exploding into individual beads all over the floor as soon as I step into the hotel room wasn't a good sign to start the evening. But as far as these events go for me, it was good. Managed to snag a seat with people I could talk to all night so that helped my anxiety levels immensely. Plus was able to spurn requests to dance all night. There's just some things that deserve a bit of mystique preserved, and co-worker dancing is one. For the record, I was prepared to resort to the Elaine dance if pressed into battle. All the interest in whether or not I would show up with a guest was kind of funny too. But really, if you're going to bet on something like that you should always go with the odds that I'll be solo.

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Ah yes, the looming Christmas/holiday party this weekend. Apparently, it's not a formal attire type affair so I'm wondering if I should go dressed as Gargamel. Since I'm guestless I could bring the cat along as Azrael my trusty feline sidekick.

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I'm the number 1 search result for bowels clenching!

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Not sure what caused it. Maybe the hard ride after a big greasy omelette and hasbrowns. Or the subsequent post ride payback and running to the bathroom. Could have been the pressure change of the Chinook. Or maybe even watching an episode of McMillan & Wife. Anyway, the end result was a night of being chased by zombies in my dreams, repeatedly waking up, falling asleep then drifting into another dream that ended in being chased by zombies again.

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My master plan for skipping off to Vancouver to see Super Furry Animals has fallen apart. Probably due to the $620 bill for car tune-up and 2 new tires.

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nothing better than finding new CDs in the mail slot after a long couple days at work.

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Jim Jewitt's Jesus series. For those days when you're feeling particularly heretical or you have George Bush and his fundamentalist friends coming over for tea. Place on your coffee table and watch people explode into hellfire.

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The White Stripes video with Conan O'Brian is one of the cooler videos I've seen in a while. Kind of reminds me of the original Willy Wonka movie with the distorted perspective. But then again there's the Goldfrapp video for Number 1... the song is pretty much just euro-disco but that's okay I'm watching it because...because...because of the use of superimposed dogheads. Yeah that's why. Nothing to do with her tartiness. Okay so maybe it is a bit for her tartiness. But the superimposed dogheads are good effects too.

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A morning where I've got too much to do and can't face doing it. So what else to do but look for audio clips of The Electric Company's version of Spiderman so I can play the "whheer whhhar" saounds of Spidey's speaking voice. Alas no such luck. Only the theme used for the segment.

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Danes provide prostitutes for the disabled. This sounds like a great plotline to work into a very special episode of 7th Heaven. Maybe Lucy could get sold into a white slavery ring during a European vacation in Denmark. Along the way, we'll learn some valuable lessons about the disabled and how they need some of god's (and Lucy's) special love like everyone else.

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Running with scissors doesn't even come close to describing today. Maybe running with a Husqvarna going full tilt would be better.

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Damn my site seems to be painfully slow loading these days. Not sure what's going on

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The new marketing audience - the almost dead
 
Have you pre-paid your funeral?
errrr no I thought I'd pay my mortgage first
 
Are you aware you can prepay your funeral on a monthly basis?
Sweeeeet!
why buy groceries when I can buy a casket instead. Kind of like a macabre diet plan
 
How much might you expect to pay for a funeral? $1000-$2000, $2000-$4000, $4000-$6000, $6000-$8000, $8000-$10 000, Over $10 000
Seeing as I'd be dead at the time of the decision, I don't expect to pay anything
 
Does your family have a preference for a specific funeral home?
Does donating your body to McDonald's for meat processing count?

I seem to get one of these a week. The funeral home vultures must lurk around this place, constantly drooling over all the lukewarm elderly bodies that live in the complex.

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I've got big plans for today. Big plans...I'm going to buy a new box of 40 watt bulbs to replace the burnt out light in the bathroom.

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You still have a day. So I thought I'd help everyone out with a few things.

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